Martha Foster Crawford diaries, David M. Rubenstein Rare Book & Manuscript Library, Duke University
Martha Foster Crawford diary, 1864-1868
1864
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A short time since I had occasion to refer to my journal which I had kept from March 1846 to May 1854, and having my attention called to something which I had entirely forgotten, I concluded to read the whole three volumes through. I lived my girlhood over again. Scenes of long ago came up fresh before my mind and the joys, hopes, sorrows of my maiden days were all gone over again. As I turned page after page I could see the girl ripening into the woman — but not yet fully a woman until sometime after my arrival in China. While keeping the diary I knew I never valued it and finally erased it altogether & regret now that it had not been continued on until the present. Much of my missionary life, though worth nothing to others, would be so to myself, and probably interesting to a few of my friends. Even if I were now to go back and give a detailed history of the ten or twelve years which I have left unwritten, it could not be written in
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the same spirit in which it would have been if just done each day as it occurred.
A little journal of a trip and sojourn at the Spring Riding Hills has been lost. I think I wrote one soon after my re- turn to Shanghai, which was the last of June 1854. We were living in one of the houses of the Episcopal Mission — the rebels held the city of Shanghai, in which our house was. My girl scholar was going on under Wong Ping San, and we were making frequent visits to the city, going in the morning and remaining all day to teach the many who flocked to our house. The congregations were large — especially of women, and after preaching we remained talking privately with all who seemed desirous of it. It was during this time that Wong became so deeply concerned — and the Siuchan woman Mrs. Tsi — who wanted to know how she must give herself to Jesus.
I think it was in October of that year that Wong was converted — a real sound bright conversion. He was a man of serious
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deep thought and knew that if our religion were true, the Salvation of his soul was of first importance. He was copying the gospel of Matthew for Mr. [——] from the chinese into the phonetic characters. He saw the morality and the spirit of it convinced him that it must be true. He said he and Jesus were not far apart. he fully accepted the doctrines taught. he thought he had few sins. But he soon changed his mind. if guilty of one he was guilty of the whole. it was disobedience. Then he became sorely distressed — beyond himself very for four days and wrestled and prayed until he found inexpressi- ble joy in believing. he was our first con- vert. there were two or three more in the church but no one had any confidence in them. they were rather in the way than otherwise. our hearts were filled with joy. We had watched the truth developing in his heart for more than a year. we had prayed for him. talked with of him and his conversion made a bright bright spot in our history. He was shut up in the city at the time and could
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