Filial piety and utilitarian family values

Zhong is described in Chinese philosophy as a core value. It forms a strong bond between people, adding to harmony and stability in society. The Five Cardinal Relationships denoted by Confucius illustrate different types of loyalty as they exist in five types of relationships. (To review, father and son come first, followed by emperor and officials, husband and wife, seniors and juniors, and finally friends.) In the order of the relationships, we can see that filial piety, that is, a son’s absolute obedience to his father, comes first; obedience to the monarch only comes second. Even in an empire ruled by a monarch, absolute respect, trust, and obedience to the father (that is, the family) outweighs loyalty to the monarch. The family is the irreplaceable basic unit of society in China.

With many values co-existing in China, predicaments can present themselves, making it difficult to choose what to do. The saying “the dilemma between loyalty and filial piety” (忠孝兩難存) suggests that you can perform zhong (loyalty to the emperor), or you can perform xiao (孝) (filial piety) but you cannot always perform both. In the Three Kingdoms (三國) period (220-280 CE), the vast land of China was split into three kingdoms. Wars started and ended and talented military leaders became the bargaining chips of ambitious kings. In particular, the great warrior Xu Shu (徐庶) in the Kingdom of Shu (蜀國) left his camp and decided to join its greatest enemy, the Kingdom of Wei. Xu Shu in fact faced a dilemma as Cao Cao (曹操, the King of Wei) had captured Xu Shu’s mother. Therefore, Xu Shu went over to the enemy to save his mother. When one has to choose between loyalty and filial piety, it is inevitable that family and filial piety will come first. In the course of history, no one has regarded or named Xu Shu as a traitor but has instead regarded him as a family-oriented, self-sacrificing warrior.

Filial piety is very important, but two questions arise: What exactly is filial piety and how can it be practiced? In the Analects, Confucius answered with a succinct example. He said filial piety should come generously from your heart and it should not be influenced by, or simply regarded as, the provision of material benefit. Some people think that if their parents are well-fed and well-clothed, they have fulfilled their duty of filial piety. Yet, Confucius challenged this attitude by pointing to the example of raising pets. “You wouldn’t say feeding your pets every day is an act of filial piety, would you?” Confucius asks. So, why would you claim that you are practicing filial piety merely by providing your parents with food? If satisfying mere material needs cannot be counted as filial piety, then what can be? What does ‘doing it with your heart’ mean? Confucius offered an example with which many of us today are familiar: ideally, we should avoid long journeys away from home and stay close to our parents. In the event that we must, we should let our parents know where we are going.

The concept of filial piety is highly valued in Hong Kong. In our education system, the concept of filial piety is introduced to students at an early stage. There are many traditional Chinese stories with which local students are very familiar. For instance, there is a story in the Three Character Classic (三字經) about a child, Huang Xiang. In winter, he would sneak into his father’s bed so that by the time his father went to bed, the bed would be warm and his father could enjoy a good night’s sleep. In addition to reading stories about filial piety in school textbooks, locals also participate in many Chinese rituals to perform the duty of filial piety. Every year in April, during the Chingming Festival, locals worship at the graves of their ancestors, sweep their graves, and burn incense. Although these traditions began long ago, they are still commonly practiced nowadays.

 

These practices, besides maintaining traditional cultures, also have brought political stability to Hong Kong, especially during the colonial period. Renowned local sociologist Lau Siu Kai put forward the idea of “Utilitarianistic Familism” to describe the function of the family in stabilising an underdeveloped society. In the 1960s and 1970s, under British colonial rule, even though Hong Kong citizens experienced an insufficient welfare system, poor housing, and unsanitary living conditions, they instead focused on domestic activities. This emphasis on filial piety discouraged their involvement in political activities. Because the family was of the utmost importance, they worked hard for a better family future and somehow endured the small living spaces and difficult financial environment. The duty of loving and supporting the family was an unexpected stabilizing factor for Hong Kong.

 

While Hong Kong can be seen as one of the most developed cities in the world today, the prominence of family and of filial piety remains. For instance, the value of family is frequently portrayed in local pop culture, sometimes even to the point of oversaturation. Almost all TV dramas, for example, feature a happy ending, typically with the family having BBQ parties together, and unintentionally turning every genre into a comedy. Given this dynamic between modern development and filial piety, it is essential to remember what Confucius advocated: Be sincere!